"This Is Such A Writer Conversation"

Because writer conversations amuse me oh-so-much, I just thought I'd share a few snippets of one I had with fellow writer and very good friend of mine HB on the bus today.

The scene is a crowded school bus on a cool January afternoon, around 3:30 in the afternoon. Freshmen are complaining loudly about their inability to drive, and the underclassmen in the back are shouting obscenities about the misfortunes of bus transport. Meanwhile, two juniors are discussing their writing. HB is describing the storyline of a new story she is developing.


BT: Aww, that's really cute! See, all of your stories are so adorable and light and funny. And sweet. Mine are all, like, death and mystery and spies and explosions. Really dark.

HB: Well, those are good too. We need those too. If my writing had a theme song, it would be like "la la la happy ponies, flowers, yay, la la la..." Yours would be something dark. Like the James Bond music.

BT: Your writing's theme song would be the "La La La" thing from the La Quinta commercials. Mine would be more like the Imperial March from Star Wars.

Both girls start humming the Imperial March. (Darth Vader's theme, for those of you who are not Star Wars fans. Bum bum bum, bum ba-dum bum ba-dum...) HB then goes on describing a few scenes from her story.


HB: ...and so she's like writhing in pain, thinking "I'm dying, I'm dying." Don't worry, she's fine though.

BT: Of course she's fine. You could not write a tragedy if you tried.

HB: I've killed people off before!

BT: You could not kill off your protagonist, dear. You just couldn't.

HB: Okay, no, you're right. I don't think I'm physically capable of killing off my protagonist. *sigh* So [sweet, dorky guy character the girls have been discussing] needs a name.

BT: Um. Well, the only thing that springs to mind is Travis, but I don't really like that.

HB: Trevor maybe?

BT: Meh...maybe. I like the "Tr" sound, and you can probably get away with "Ch" if you want...

HB: Yeah, but not something like Chad.

BT: Ew, no. He needs a two-syllable name.

HB: Yeah, he's definitely a two-syllable name. Y'know, Travis is starting to grow on me...

BT: You know, I kinda like it too now. I didn't before, but...I think it fits.

HB: *laughter* This is such a writer conversation.

End scene

HB, dear, I love you muchably. Even though you can't write a tragedy to save your life. Travis will be amazing. I love him already. Even though your story is not written yet.

To the rest of you out there, this is what a writer conversation looks like. At least in my world. On my bus. With my friends. In case anyone was curious.

Until next time,
Bex